Most of us go through our lives making daily and future plans and decisions with the expectation that life will go as we planned. We might make room in the back of our minds that it’s possible we might be thrown a curve ball … but, naaaa, probably not.
At least we think that way until that curve ball hits us squarely in the face – an injury, an illness, a death, a significant housing issue. And when that new reality hits, fear and paralysis often take us over, at least for a while.
That’s when the Outer Banks Relief Foundation (OBRF) welcomes you in. The group was founded in 2005 to help a local family whose child was facing leukemia and the exorbitant financial burdens that came along with the diagnosis. The early founders and concerned community members realized that if we all came together with donations, locals who were facing tragedy or other hardships wouldn’t also have to face financial ruin. The idea was that we could shelter each other in times of need, and realize that that time of need might come around for any one of us, not only the already fragile.
Now, 21 years later, the Foundation helps an average of 200 households every year. It has been a lifeline during these two decades for almost 2,000 local households (not only the direct recipients, but those they live with as well). They’ve flung the net wide. And here we’d like to tell you the stories of two of them.
Steve Gibbons
Steve Gibbons has lived on the Outer Banks for 30 years, and he’s worn more than a few hats – as a first responder, a travel agent, in the back kitchen at Ocean Blvd. and working with the pool/hot tub servicing division for Seaside Vacations. It was during a typical day cleaning a hot tub that he dropped his phone into the water. Reaching in at a weird angle, he reinjured an inguinal hernia that he had had repaired in 2017. Problem was, this happened during the summer season when he works 24/7, so he did his best to work through the pain. When he had time to look into the new surgery he needed, he simply didn’t have the financial bandwidth to handle all the costs. So, being the driven guy he is (during our interview, it became very clear that this guy doesn’t sit still for long), he just toughed it out. But by the end of two years living with the injury, he was in so much pain that he was having to work while using crutches to try to mitigate the problem and the resulting sciatica spasms from the false gait.
OBRF Program Director Lee Whitley with Steve Gibbons
That’s when a friend recommended he approach the Relief Foundation for assistance. Steve will tell you that he’s always taken care of himself, never feeling the need for outside help. But this scenario pushed that limit. So, after an initial meeting with Lee Whitley, program director, he filled out an application. Within a short time, Lee, in consultation with the OBRF board of directors, came back to him with an assistance package that covered his basic bills for two months – one for the first month as he was recuperating after surgery and the other to give him an opportunity to get back to work and begin making money again.
Steve says the breathing room was more than financial. Without the constant worry and pain he had been living with, the support from the Foundation gave him time to reimagine himself as the active man he’s been all his life. We’re talking soccer, surfing, boot camps, racquetball, racing sailboats and tennis.
And now he’s a local competitor in advanced level pickleball and recently won his first tournament. He says he plays an average of an hour and a half a day – something that seemed a long lost possibility before the help from the Foundation and his surgery. And he’s also back to his 24/7/365 schedule.
Jenn Crossman
We all know people who are so determinedly independent that they’re the ones others usually come to for help. They’re the strong and steady ones – the ones who just quietly figure things out on their own without bothering (in their minds) others with their troubles. Well, meet Jenn Crossman. She exudes energy and positivity. She talks a mile a minute with a lot of laughter peppering each expression. And, like Steve, she is very used to putting in a lot of hours at her job at Kill Devil Grill and appreciating the work environment.
But several years ago she broke her ankle badly in several places. This wasn’t just a simple bone repair where she might be back up in a walking cast in a few days. This was a stay off this ankle for at least a month situation. And in the restaurant business, that means no income when you’re not there.
Jenn Crossman (left) with OBRF Executive Director Patty McKenna
Jenn says she wasn’t even aware of the Relief Foundation up to this point. And it was a friend who actually applied for assistance on her behalf. After checking in on needs and existing resources, the Foundation offered her help for a month but made it clear that if she was still in need at the end of that time, she could come back to them.
Jenn says that despite how hard it typically is for her to seek help, everyone at the Foundation made the experience easy and dignified. There was no sense of coming on bended knee sheepishly asking for money. They made it clear that the Foundation was created and exists today precisely for circumstances like hers.
The experience had such a positive impact on Jenn that she made one of her determined decision: She was going to create a meaningful way to give back to the Foundation and this community she loves. And the Misfit Bars of Christmas event was born.
For those reading this who don’t know, Misfits is a collection of eclectic bars here that aren’t a part of the 12 Bars of Christmas tour, which was started a few years before as a fun (extremely!) way to celebrate the holiday season while also raising funds for various charities around the Outer Banks. Jenn jokingly compares her Misfit Bars concept to the island of misfit toys (you know, the kids’ Christmas movie) where some of the toys are broken or really shy – not the alpha toys, you might say. But she emphasizes that she’s truly joking. The 16 bars in Misfits are just different.
And in the long run, Jenn says it’s all about giving back and having fun ways to be together and appreciate how we can all make a difference in other people’s lives. One of her mantras is that it takes a community to help a community.
Obviously, that’s the same raison d’etre for the Outer Banks Relief Foundation. We can all be in the shelter of each other and be strong when needed … and accept help when it’s needed too.
The Outer Banks Relief Foundation office in Nags Head.
Get Involved
Go to obrf.org and select Get Involved to learn about all the ways you can support this important local resource.
Consider becoming a super donor by setting up a monthly gift at any level – with ongoing monthly support we can confidently give more to people and spend less on fundraising.
Apply for relief funding at obrf.org or by calling Lee at (252) 255-0048 to discuss eligibility.
About the Author Beth P. Storie
Beth Storie first came to the Outer Banks for the summer of 1976. She fell in love with the area and returned for good three years later. She and her husband published the national guidebook series, The Insiders' Guides, for more than 20 years and now are building OneBoat guides into another national brand. After spending time in many dozens of cities around the country, she absolutely believes that her hometown of Manteo is the best place on earth, especially when her two children, six cats and one dog are there too.
